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Desperate Times Call for Naked Measures

July 12, 2010

Fully Clothed - Climbing a Thai Mountain

It’s crunch time.

I have pedalled 12,500 kms across 19 countries** in 9 months. It is 135 days until England begin their defence of The Ashes, and I’ve got 9,000 kms to cycle, most of it through the Australian outback. Easy.

There have been bad days, but many more good ones. I hope the day I cycle into the Gabba in Brisbane will be the last of many good days on my journey, and one of the best. I need your help in making it so!

I am cycling to Australia because I fancied the challenge, but I am also trying to raise £100,000 for The Lord’s Taverners and the British Neurological Research Trust, two great charities that are doing fantastic work in very different fields. I am £85,000 shy of that figure today. It occurred to me that if I pedal into The Gabba with my £100,000 target still a distant dream, I’ll be more than a little disappointed. So I have been thinking…..

When I was thinking about ways I can inspire more donations, I decided that I quite like seeing people make fools of themselves occasionally, and if i like seeing people make fools of themselves occasionally, then other people probably do too.

I have decided that I’m going to make a fool out of myself in the name of charity Here is the plan:

I will cycle COMPLETELY NAKED for a whole day in Australia if I can encourage enough donations to total £5,000 in the name of the Cycling To The Ashes naked campaign – yes, that’s what I’ll call it. And there’s more. For every £5,000 raised, I will cycle naked for a day longer (£10,000 – 2 days naked cycling. £35,000 – a whole week of potentially disgusting saddle sores, police run-ins and sunburn…Ouch. What am I doing?)

You can donate any time from now until I reach Australian soil, but be careful. When donating online or by post you must mention the naked nature of your donation in the comments section, or on a note of paper i.e. You must say that you’re donating because you want me to suffer huge embarrassment and humiliation by cycling naked down under.

If I know you, and if you’re feeling lazy, then you can even just send me an email with a promise of a donation. I’ll hunt you down when I’m home in January.

As I sit here fully clothed and perfectly happy, I wonder if I will regret this idea. There can’t be many more uncomfortable recreational activites than cycling a 65kg bike naked for a few days in the 100 degree heat of an Australian summer. Oh well, it’s for a cause.

I’d like to encourage you to tell your friends, get them to give you a fiver for the cause! Ask your boss for a tenner, get your dentist or hairdresser to hand over their pocket change. Let’s get the ball rolling folks. Let’s raise loads. Let’s spread the word far and wide. Let’s get naked. It’s for charity.

** 19 countries visited since 10 October – England, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Austria, Slovakia, Hungary, Serbia, Bulgaria, Turkey, Syria, Jordan, Egypt, Suydan, Kenya, India, Bangladesh, Thailand.

Bye for now. I’m off to cycle from Mae Sot on the Burmese border, towards Bangkok. I will wear sports sandals, a long-sleeved cotton shirt, a pair of shorts and a newly-acquired 1970’s style neon headband. I won’t be naked.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. Viv permalink
    July 12, 2010 8:40 am

    Sounds a great idea – from this distance!

    I hope it brings you lots of lovely donations.

    love Viv x

  2. Stuart permalink
    July 12, 2010 9:39 am

    i’m gonna be donating to your great effort. You’ve got some balls! And hopefully we’re gonna find out… From a fund raising perspective of course! Keep it going, loving following the blogs


  3. duncan walker permalink
    July 12, 2010 11:00 am

    I am fecking burned from a weekend in Cornwall, and I kept my shorts on! Ill donate…as you invest in some top of the range sunblock. Ive never been sunburnt ‘down under’ – boom, boom – but im guessing it aint pleasant. And cycling rash + sunburn + more cycling to do = my vision of Hades…..


  4. Abbey permalink
    July 12, 2010 12:43 pm

    Hillarious how your blog title generated the “potential possibly related post” – “Desperate time calls for Sexperate Measures”.
    Not to detract from your blog Oli, but this link also makes interesting reading…

    Off to sponsor you now..

  5. Marian permalink
    July 12, 2010 5:21 pm

    Wow! That’s brave Oli.And for that I will definitely put some more money in the pot AND spread the word. More power to your……….Elbow!!

    Marian x

  6. Alex Thom permalink
    July 13, 2010 10:44 am

    Oli, an insane idea, but then again so is cycling to Australia for charity and cricket. I will sponsor you now… Raw hide!


  7. July 16, 2010 4:50 pm


    I’ll sort you out with some heavy duty sunscreen. See you in Java, cheers Will


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